Disappointment all over again.

So as always me and my boyfriend made up after a big fight. I could not sleep last night, there was too much on my mind. I have my doubts about our relationship, I feel that he doesn’t try anymore. Like he gave up on me. It’s sad to say but this is how I truly feel. I want to be loved and taken care of, not forgotten and invisible. He told me he’ll prove to me that he’ll try harder. I hope it’s true because it’s not the 1st 2nd or 3rd time he said that one. We will see how it goes…

So, it’s almost my birthday and I planned everything. I am celebrating it next Saturday. I just got a text from my boyfriend and he said that his mom is making him work the whole day on Saturday. Bummer right? I know I shouldn’t be selfish but he couldn’t go to my birthday last year. Even though we weren’t together, I had already developed feelings for him. Yea I’m pretty depressed, I just hate having my hopes high and basically having them crushed. He said he’ll make it no matter what but he’ll be late, but what about the beginning of the day? I’m just going to be alone. I guess this was a birthday surprise from his mom to me. It’s her favorite thing to do, to burst my bubble. 

-wifey

I just don’t know.

What do I do? I’m hurting so bad inside. I’m heartbroken from the things you do to me. You hurt me emotionally and physically. I asked myself plenty of times how can I be in a relationship like this. It’s like a circle one minute we’re soo happy and the next second it turns into chaos of arguing and yelling. This time I really did nothing wrong but somehow I’m always wrong no matter whose fault it is. It was something so little, something so dumb that didn’t even matter to us. Yet you still make a scene, and embarrass me in front of my family. You know I ran out when you left because I wanted to be the better person. I ran out with no shoes. You wouldn’t listen to me, I admit I lied when I said you’re right, I was trying to drop the situation. You went in your car so I went in it too with the door open, you still drove off while my legs were dangling out of the car scrapping the floor. I thought to myself I’m not going to be disrespected like this so I said fine leave. Truth is I cried while walking back into my house. I can’t believe you actually did that. 

- wifey

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my older brother teasing me with ice cream T.T